Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Pornographic Pasta

On Sunday I decided to cruise the aisles at TJ Maxx to see if I could find a wonderful treasure. There I was, happily pushing my cart down the specialty food aisle when my gaze happened upon this package of pasta. "Hmmm...Fantasy Pasta. What could that be?" I wondered.

I picked the package up for a closer look and what did I spy with my eagle eye?

A penis? A penis made of pasta? WTF? I thought that surely I must be seeing things. But no, there it was. I squished the package around trying to "adjust" the contents so I could get a better view. Can you see them in this picture? There are two of them! You can click on the picture to make it "larger" if you'd like.

The back of the package says that this is an "artisanal product." Okay...so there is an artist somewhere holed up making penis pasta molds? I guess if it pays the bills...

Naturally I had to buy it. I hope you appreciate the fact that I spent $6 on this crap just so I could provide this blog post for you.

I do appreciate the fact that there is a multitude of colors to choose from. Red, black, white...

Lay down soldiers!

Stand at attention soldiers! (I love it when they're well behaved.)

The package also contained some leaning tower of Pisa's. Does that mean you can only get your freak on with the pasta in Rome? I've heard the men there pinch your butt while you're walking down the street if they think you're cute. If that happened to me I'd pelt them with handfuls of penis pasta.

Here are some churches. Not so good for getting your freak on is what I'm thinking. Oh wait! Maybe you're supposed to throw handfuls of penis pasta at the newlyweds as they're exiting the church!

Now are these swirley girleys supposed to represent the Va-jay jay? Twisted sister!

Or maybe this lovely piece is representing the fine female anatomy?

I don't think I could choke this stuff down, but it was good for a laugh don't you think?

P.S. I did NOT break the one in the "fore" ground.


Jenn said...

Oh my gosh Jeanne! You are freaking hilarious! Seriously! My eyes are watering because I'm laughing so hard. I can just picture you standing the little guys up to take their picture! I'm so glad you bought the pasta, I needed a laugh.

Kelly said...

I have no words Jeanne. Maybe I would find this more amusing if you weren't my aunt ;)